Boones Toss

Remember that time I got asked to buy four bottles of Boones Farm, wink, don't ask questions. 

Ok, but what are we going to do with 7% abv impostor wine?

Hello Boones Toss, goodbye Slap the Bag. One of the better things to come out of 2015. 

No Filter - it's like drinking Rainbow Brite's tears

I assure you this post is in no way sponsored by the company - but I have to imagine they are well aware of the game. People don't just willingly buy a case of Boones at a time because it's that good for a midday sipper. Maybe middle class bored stay at home step-moms. 

The jist of the game as it was explained to me was quite simple: 1) Take a swig of Boones 2) Throw it to someone else 3) You can only catch and throw with one hand

Erm - hand eye coordination skills equal nadda. But I'm for giving it a shot. 

We go outside to play and bottles are being thrown through the air, while opened. Missed that in the directions. 

Boones over there. Boones over here. Boones in my hair. BOONES everywhere. 

It's like an alcoholic version of paint ball. Drink a little, get spilled on a lot, realize you've actually drank quite a bit, pass out. Wake up with massive gut rot.

My picture repository is failing me on having actual images of this glorious game in action, so I have drawn an MS Paint reenactment below. Happy New Year folks. 

Also, how ridiculous is it that because of one nameless shameless friend we're not allowed to play with Fuzzy Navel?! When she studied abroad and was served a "fancy" peach desert she didn't realize you weren't supposed to eat the pit. Swallowed. Whole. Which is pretty impressed things considered, but a life of peach induced dry heaving. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sailor Soda

Merry Christmas! 

You probably need a drink. 

I'll be in Southeast Minnesota and Iowa for an extended holiday at the in-laws. 

So now is as a good of a time as any to share my go to cocktail. 

Captain Morgan + Root Beer = Ginga's Secret Cocktail (aka Sailor Soda)

Peggy is not wrong. 

Recipe of the Month - Roasted Cauliflower

I love veggies. I grew up that every dinner meal was served with veggies. My husband did not - the extent of veggies was occasionally something green smothered in Velveeta. I'm not knocking that, I still do that. I should do that like, asap. 

The first time going to Subway together was a moment that I wasn't really sure I wanted to see this person, ever again. Who gets a sandwich with ONLY meat, cheese, and sauce. Two sauces actually. Southwest and Mayo? *side eye glare* 

It has been a bit of a battle to get on the same veggie loving page, but we're getting there. A slow clap goes to cauliflower. 

I make these probably once or twice a week, use the leftovers to go in lunches. And then make them again. I  We just love them. I know absolutely nothing on what they do you for you nutritionally, but its gotta be better than cheese.

 Roasted Cauliflower

Preheat oven to 400

Chop cauliflower into florets

Toss with:
-   Olive Oil
-   Cumin
-   Paprika
-   Black Pepper
-   Salt
-   Lemon Juice (optional)

Bake for 25 minutes with last 5 minutes on BROIL for that ~crisp~



So good, so easy. Unlike everything that went terribly wrong when I tried to puree cauliflower to make a "healthy" Alfredo sauce. Just, no. Don't do that. 

Pickle Tickles

Snapchat is weird. Here is this thing that I can real time show my friends what I am up to - which usually ain't much. Sorry for the 280 seconds too long story on putting up my Christmas tree a couple of weekends ago.

....

Not. 

Anyways, I love when a joke comes full circle. Instagram tells me 87 weeks ago that in one of my boxed fueled Wednesday night wine sessions that I sent this Snapchat. Which was lovingly screenshotted. And posted. (THIS IS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK, BTW)

Needless to say I think I'm pretty fucking amusing at times and if you don't chuckle a little at that, well you're probably not reading my blog anyways. 

Fast forward (87 weeks!) and look what I got in the mail! 

xoxo, Pickle Tickles

If I haven't said it out loud enough, I couldn't have picked better friends. Christmas tree, complete.

Probably a good time to discuss just what the hell my deal is with pickles. I can't seem to go grocery shopping and not say to myself, "I bet we need more pickles at home. We should get some more pickles." 

I'd be lying if I said my husband has never threatened me to not bring home one more damn jar of pickles, "you eat half of them and then they sit in the back of the fridge, for eternity."

My Fridge. 8am. Today. :/

Seriously. It's like an ep of My Strange Addiction waiting to happen. 

Recap: Vegas

I know, I know, what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas. But a quick recap of my bachelorette party from earlier this year is too good to pass up. 

Vegas really started with a BuzzFeed article (only productive thing BuzzFeed has done for my life) about a swim suit that supposedly looked good on every, and I mean EVERY, body shape. And the kicker, it was only $6.99. 

Definitely spend two minutes to scroll through the article here

You can't not buy something for $6.99 that is going to make you look that good.  (Minus girl in neon green suit, we should probably chat, but glad you doing you.) Problem was I didn't really have anywhere to wear it. It's not exactly a suit that screams public swimming pool with your mother-in-law. 

You know in Bridesmaids how all it took to get everyone on board for a Vegas bachelorette party was one phone call? Like that but in a group chat.

(612) Vegas? 

(763) YAAAASSSSSSSS!!!

Picture this - no, literally picture this cause I took HUNDREDS of pics of myself in that goddamn swim suit because day drinking your life away for 48 hours straight makes you feel capable of anything and that you 100% look hot AF. 

'MERICA

Sorry that I blacked out the part where my "friends" were chasing me at the pool screaming, "come here my lil rotisserie ham!"

 

     = = = = =          

                                                                 

Personally I think that ham looks majestic. 

I'm really not going to elaborate more on what Vegas consisted of other than me refusing to take the suit off, and a lot of drinking. Drinking for free thanks to our dad friends who were dropping $$$$$ on a poolside cabana all weekend. 

P.S. If you're married to a guy from Detroit who is 46 years old, wears cowboy hats and is named Alan, he was definitely not on a guys trip in Colorado and was definitely in Vegas with a pre-loaded Visa card dropping dimes poolside on chicks half his age. That lil cocksucker and his other dad friends saved us a shit ton on drinks. Fools. I wasn't really into questioning morals until after we finished the bottle of Goose and Patron. 

Also we did Vegas so hard that on our last day all we were really up for was paying $9 to sit in a dark movie theater and watch whatever the hell was playing. That happened to be The Perfect Guy. Which please grab a case of boxed wine and your friends and watch immediately. Drink every time there is a fade out that would have been a commercial break had this been the Lifetime movie it deserved to be, and chug for the entire toothbrush scene. Yes, you'll know exactly what I mean.

And thank you Mr. Random who got one of my girl's number the night before and sent her dick pics the next day. At 10am. #Vegas

Spoiler alert, every friend from now until forever is getting that swimsuit for her birthday and/or bachelorette party. It's like an R-rated version of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

I'm Not Above Boxed Wine

When I was first introduced to the game of "Slap the Bag" I was 22 and wearing a homemade ghost costume for Halloween and was already five shots deep with my friend Cpt. Morgan.

yes, that's a white garbage bag

(creativity was at an all time low, and not giving a fuck at an all time high)

"ohhhh so we just slap and see how much we can drink?"

"Yes."

"isn't Franzia for poor people?"

"Yes. and slap the bag"

And that's where my memory of Halloween 2011 ends and my love/hate relationship with boxed wine began. 

Fast forward four years and you'll still find me casually (regularly) over indulging on boxed wine.

Which is basically how I spent my Saturday night - boxed wine and the #DemDebate drinking game. (IMO the only way to watch a debate...)

It doesn't even matter what the rules were except that the words ISIS, and Gun Control meant social. Which meant thank J. that I had more than one bottle of wine! Round of applause that goes into the physics of fitting FOUR bottles worth into ONE bag.

I'm not even really sure where I was going with this - who needs bottles when you can have boxed!

3 Hours, $15, and drinking Cabernet Sauvignon like the class act that I am. #boxedwineforlife

Can we talk about mayonnaise?

Guess who's back, back again? 

Did you know if you have a boring sandwich any food ever you can make it fun by adding mayo+sriracha? 

                       

 




Also if you want to up your grilled cheese flavor profile game from white bread + plastic wrapped cheese to fancy white bread + plastic wrapped cheese - you mix some butter, and wait for it, mayo, to spread on the OUTSIDE** of the bread for grilling. *crispy toasty mayo bread, mmmm*

Did you know that mayo even comes in individual packets that you should have at your office desk at all times? No refrigeration necessary! 

Other things that are made with mayo that should not be forgotten about:
-Cold Pasta Salads
-Dips, Dips, Dips! 
-Tuna Salad
-Chicken Salad 

Basically I love mayo and all of its possibilities, dieting is hard, and I was struggling for a comeback article. Please don't steal my idea of submitting "mayo" for the Lay's Do Us A Flavor competition 2016.  

BRB working on my new Pinterest board "Mayo with Love" <3