The Bachelor is like everything you should hate in television. They claim it's reality. A reality where 25 out of 25 everyday woman have a perfect body, amazing hair, their parent's credit card, and a job that lets you take a 90 day leave of absence to find "true love."
And I eat that shit up and feed into it by live tweeting the entire two hour charade every week.
I'm going to file this hobby under the escape life and distract your anxieties right after adult coloring books and before candy crush.
Why is this show a thing, how has it been a thing for SO many many seasons. Like 90% of these relationships crash and burn or wind up on some spin off show that might as well be called Fame Whore Island.
I'm going to recap last nights episode anyways. It took 40 minutes before the first woman even stepped out of the limo. The majority of dresses looked like something I would have begged for my junior year to wear to prom in 2006. Poorly placed sequins for days and not enough boob to properly fill it out. There was the typical cliches: four too many glasses of wine girl, twins, Miss I Still "Mostly" Have My Virginity, obnoxious remember me props, tears, and *gasp* a twist no one saw coming.
Are these girls for real? When did I get older than the girls on The Bachelor? Why am I already looking forward to tuning into next weeks episode? HOW DOES BETCHES DO SUCH A GOOD JOB OF RECAPPING. I just can't muster the energy.
Good job ABC, take my contribution to your ridiculously high viewership to run your over placed and over paid for ads.
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