Pretty

Someone took the time to create the Mary Kay Makeover app. It's suppose to let you give yourself a makeover and what MK products you would need to achieve the "look." If anyone is actually using this app for its intended purposes, you have a false sense of reality. 

I love making over myself. Over and over. Fits of giggles. 

I buy mom jeans.

It's Britney, bitch.

Mother knows best, Rapunzel.

Will and his other Grace.

I dated Ellen once.

J. Biebs, 'Sup.

Stupid Phone

I have a phone in my office from 1972. If my cellphone gets too close to it, it makes a buzzing sound that will drive you mad within two seconds. The cord is constantly being wound incorrectly and causing a disaster when trying to quickly pick up. Its got this yellow tint that I am not sure was the initial color, or from years of use. I currently have scotch tap holding the face plate on.

It's the same phone I've had since I started working here almost four years ago. I am typically on the phone for at least four hours out of my total working day. The scene in Office Space where they trash the printer? I have dreams of doing that to my desk phone. I know I'd just get a 1972 replacement from the stockpile of phones they have been hoarding for 40 years. So much of the last four years of my life has been spent on this ridiculously out of date, crappy, tan, fuzzy, fucking phone. 

(No apologies for the vertical video) 

I work in finance. This morning I approved $1.7 million dollars of conference room renovations for our New York office to get upgraded paint, windows, couches, chairs, phones, projectors, flat screen televisions, and telephones. Plus additional upgrades to the General Manager's office. It's the 2nd time they have done this in my four years here. 

New phones for the Minnesota office? Expense request DENIED. 

Some days I really good despise my job. Ah, corporate life.

I Love to Hate Beer

Things I like:

1. Going to the bar, the more beers on tap the better.

2. Going to a craft beer festival, trying all the beers, twice. 

3. Going to a liquor store, buying a new sampler pack, for variety.

4. Settling for Michelob Light on days warmer than 60 or anytime before 3pm.

Things my stomach hates:

1. Drinking any beer in any quantity. 

Day drinking before the game? I'm gonna vomit. 

Three hours at the craft beer fest? I'm gonna vomit.

One beer after dinner on Wednesday? I'm gonna vomit.

Five shots of vodka on a Friday night? I feel great! 

(I've been told I could be having an allergic reaction, but "allergy" seem like such a buzz word lately.)

AND HERE I AM, to talk about my favorite beer from the weekend! Which had my stomach and head in knots for the next 24 hours. But it was flowery, fruity, not overly sweet, and from BELGIUM. Win, win, win, win. 

If your stomach can handle beer, and even if it can't, you have to try this: 

Delirium Tremens

Brewed by: Brouwerij Huyghe, Belgium

ABV: 8.5%

I thought maybe by drinking it out of a wine glass, I could have tricked my stomach.

Nope

Fun Fact: The name of the beer, Delirium Tremens, is a severe form of alcohol withdrawal that involves sudden and severe mental or nervous system changes.

Well played Belgium.